Marital Advice to my Grandson Joel

Marital Advice 101.4

Settling Into Married Life (Continued)

"Does This Dress Make My Ass Look Big?"

101.4e



There will be numerous times throughout your married life that your wife will ask for your opinion on how she looks.  Here's an example.

Abby and you are getting dressed for your company's annual holiday party.  Abby purchased a new dress for the occasion and she will wear it for the first time tonight.  She views herself in the mirror - front, side, and rear views.

"Does this dress make my ass look big?" she asks.

This is a trap question.  If you answer it wrong, your wife will burst into tears, will rip the dress off, and probably refuse to go to the party.  If she does go, it will ruin her entire evening, and most likely yours as well.  Not only that, but she will remember what you said forever and will throw it back in your face at least once a month for the rest of your life.

Now, there is no doubt that you consider yourself to be one of the most quick-witted and funniest guys on the planet.  Humorous quips pop into your mind such as, "Naw, it's no more than two ax-handles wide," or "Don't worry about it - it's all behind you."

Here are three thoughts for you to consider:

     First:  You're not as funny as you think.

     Second:  You're walking on eggshells here.

     Third:  This is a wonderful opportunity to deliver a superb compliment to your wife that she will deeply appreciate and that she will remember for a long time, if not forever.

It doesn't actually matter if the dress does, in fact, make her ass look big.  That's not the issue here.  The issue is your saying something to soothe her concerns and to make her feel good.

So, get that silver tongue of yours oiled up and say the words she needs to hear.  Something like, "My dear, you have a magnificent posterior and this dress does nothing but compliment it and display it perfectly."  Oh Gawd!

Copyright  ©  2017 By Peter Davidson