Marital Advice 101.1
Hidden Truths About Marriage
Joel, to your wife, Abby, you will be more than just a husband - you will be a Project, a Work-in-Progress.
When Abby chose to marry you, she apparently saw in you hidden potential that no other woman in the world was able to spot, including her mother, her sisters, and her friends.  For the rest of Abby's life, she will try on a daily basis to coax, mold, and beat that hidden potential into some semblance of the admirable man she visualizes you have the ability to become.
This wisdom, provided by me,  your grandfather, is a guide for how to understand, accept, and fulfill your role in the marriage and how to understand, at least a little bit, what makes your wife tick.
You will be wise to use these words of wisdom to self-train yourself so you can lessen the amount of training that needs to be inflicted upon you by your wife. 
Marital Advice 101.2
Marital Wisdom, Passed Down For Generations
Prior to your getting married, some well-meaning friends, your brother, your dad, an uncle, some cousins, and even strangers, will take you aside and try to explain what married life is all about.  I know this because before I got married to Grandma, a whole bunch of self-styled philosophers offered me marital advice and wisdom.
Believing everything they said, I wrote down their wisdom so I could refer to it often for guidance and direction.  Even though these gems of wisdom were given to me several decades ago, they are just as true today as they were back then and they will be just as true many years from now as well.  There is no time limit on truth.
So, here is that timeless wisdom and advice for you to study, contemplate, ponder and digest.  Since some of the advice is quite deep and philosophical, I have added a few comments in parenthesis, based on my years of marital experience, just to help you out a bit.
*  "It takes a lot of effort to make a marriage work." (That advice, by the way, is like giving you a rowboat somewhere off the coast of California, pointing out into the ocean and saying, "If you paddle in that direction, you'll eventually reach Hawaii.")
*  "Women are a lot different than men."  (Oh, Really?)
*  "Marriage can either be Heaven or Hell."  (Makes sense, no?)
*  "Keep your powder dry."  (I've had 40 years to think about this comment and still don't know what in the hell Uncle Fred meant by it.)
*  "Be careful what you confess to in a weak moment - women have a memory like an elephant."  (Every married man on earth has found this out first hand.)
*  "Just treat her like one of the guys."  (You might contemplate this advice carefully before you teach your wife how to cuss, chew tobacco, and spit.)
*  "Measure twice and saw once."  (The purveyor of this fabulous wisdom was a carpenter, but in marital terms it probably means you should think twice before you open your mouth.)
* "Your wife will not see the humor in your introducing her to others as your 'First Wife."  (No shit.)
*  "Just when you think you've got your wife figured out, she'll run a reverse on you or throw a Hail Mary."  (This advice came from my high school football coach - profound.)
*  "Your wife is allowed to say low-down, mean, nasty things about her mother, but you are not."  (It's a mother-daughter thing that you'll never understand.)
*  "The key to a successful marriage is to always pick up your socks off the floor."  (Great advice, but it's not quite that simple.)
*  "Break only one law at a time."  (This advice could apply to many things, but in marriage, I think it means you should not forget your wife's birthday and your anniversary in the same year.)
*  "If you whisper another woman's name in your wife's ear, or shout it, particularly during a moment of passion, there is no way to lie your way out of it, but give it a try anyway."  (This advice came from a guy who spent three years sleeping in the basement.)
*  Be careful, or she'll turn out just like her mother."  (Egads!  But, fear not - it's only true 57% of the time.)
*  "Your mouth will get you into a whole lot more trouble than your Willy ever will."  (A word of wisdom from your grandfather.  From the voice of experience.)

Copyright  ©  2017 By Peter Davidson


  1. Good list. Definitely a list for husbands to heed. I apologize. I cannot give you any incite on the fourth rule of thumb, "Keep your powder dry." I especially like your grandfather's advice. I'm sure it's true. Thank you for the words of wisdom and the side commentary. It was worth the read and I will print it off for my sons.

    1. Angie, Thanks for your nice comment. I hope you enjoy the rest of the posts that I will make on this topic. Peter

  2. I'm a woman and have never been married so I'm probably not the best person to comment, but a lot of the advice seems spot on. (Not sure about the powder dry either).

  3. Hello My Friend,
    I am amazed at all of the publications you've already done, and the advice to your grandson is something which we can all relate to, but we are afraid to say! I like your handle on humor and would assess that it just comes natural to you. I see we both know my friend, Bruce Haring with whom I keep some contact. A lot of people say unkind things about having to pay for the contest entry, but they are so sadly missing the mark, for Bruce gives people a chance to get their name out there. He has followed me through, "Pinkhoneysuckle," years, and he cares enough to get back to me. //All of the complainers and whiners should know that pop ups--Adds they pay so much far--These sell no books.//So where else can they feel recognition and have award certificates to show for it.//Peter, once we could have hired an agent to sell our writing, but everyone is self publishing, and I know through my son who will do nothing as a special, "For Mom," deal to further what has happened with my book. Some call it a major work in literature, and there are two names I know of--"Producers," who are simply crooks, and what my son has pointed out to me is that producers come to you--Not the other way around. He won't put me through Amazon, because Amazon does virtually nothing with others outside of going now to the big film festivals and buying the screenplays which seem promising there. He got to go to Sundance, and he'll not help me, for he thinks there's just too much out there.//I do like your style of writing, so if there's one book you'd like for me to review--I'd do that for such a kind person. Again, I love the subtle humor, a style I had to use, or my book would have been very bleak. It takes years, and I was disabled from a blood clot to my lungs--But I may have a new company interested in my book. My best advice to you--Contact people one by one, and share your books. You never know. Always, and thank you for trusting in me. I would like to know your major goals, for one thing I know is publishing as we ever knew it is over. Lovingly, Barbara

  4. Hey Peter!
    All good advice. Having over 50 years as a wife, I also have some words of wisdom. However, probably no one wants to hear them!
    After all these years, I introduce my husband current husband. I don't want him to get to comfortable in his role!!

  5. You made my day! I had a good day but this made it better. Now, do me a favor tell them to view: in a few days as my third book ( about 🎃) will be posted along with other stuff for free.

  6. Very funny stuff. Thank you for the giggles you brought today

  7. Excellent advice. Powerful words . Men do not think.

  8. This is entertaining and I smiled a lot, but you might not care a whole lot for my opinion. We are married for over forty years, but as far as I'm concerned marital bliss began after I quit trying to change him and accepted him for the wonderful man he really is.

  9. Amusing. Thanks. However, the trouble your willie can get you in is immense.

  10. Absolutely priceless advice! My favourites? (Oh what am I saying?) They're all favourites!

  11. Ha ha, these are all true, but am equally confused about keeping your powder dry!

  12. That is about right. I am sure that Joel will benifit greatly from these posts as will many other men..

  13. Wonderful post with spot on advice :)

  14. Sounds like you know the score well, lol. :)


Post a Comment