MARITAL ADVICE ***** Mopping the Sopping ***** In last week's post, we revealed one of the most accurate and true scientific principles known to mankind - if you're a guy, there is a high likelihood that when you eat, you're going to spill something on yourself.  As promised, this week we'll look at what to do about it.  Mopping the Sopping To every problem there is a potential solution and that is what today's post is about - solutions to the problem of your spilling on yourself when you eat.  Here they are: *  If at all possible, avoid eating in public where you are apt to make a fool of yourself by spilling all over your self. *  If you are forced to eat in public, try to keep the number of guests at your table as low as possible to decrease the number of witnesses. *  Consider ordering food items that barely leave a trace if they happen to find their way to your shirt.  Un-buttered toast or crackers are suggested. *  I...

MARITAL ADVICE ***** Father's Day Dining Etiquette ***** Today is Father's Day in the United States.  This is the day your wife and family are supposed to treat you like a king; maybe they'll even take you out to a nice restaurant for your favorite meal. Here are some dining etiquette tips similar to what I gave my grandson, Joel, when he got engaged.  This is not about when to place your napkin on your lap or how many peas to balance on the blade of your knife.  This is about a dining matter of far more significance to you than that, since you are a guy.  Since you are a guy, you will rarely be able to eat a full meal without spilling something on yourself.  You have probably already discovered this on your own.   Scientific Eating Etiquette Truisms  There are several unwritten hypothesis about spilling food on yourself that are as accurate as any known law of science: *  The more colorful the food item, the more likely it i...

Marital Advice *** The Fabulous Dream - Buying A Home *** One of the dreams of many married couples is to buy a home of their own.  This can be one of the most wonderful moments of your life, or it can be a nightmare that will take years to recover from.  Here is a little home-buying advice from a former real estate broker and a guy who trained over 700 real estate agents - me.  I know what you're thinking - this is something that I will have to answer for on Judgment Day , and I believe that you are right. Real Estate Speak The real estate industry has a language all its own.  Your real estate agent will describe the home's features in accurate terns, and then you will the responsibility to interpret what each of those descriptions mean. A house in "an established neighborhood" might mean the neighborhood is old, may be run down, and that therefore property values could easily decline in the future. A house in a "new development" means tha...

Marital Advice ***** The Chivalrous Man ***** Guys,  that goofy look on your face right now apparently means that you have never before seen that word,  Chivalrous , have no idea how to pronounce it, and have no clue about what it means.  It probably also means that you're a fairly normal guy for this day and age.  But, I'm about to change all that. Chivalrous  (pronounced "shiv-ul-rus") is the act of a man extending to a woman courteous, honorable, polite, respectful, attentive, gallant, and well-mannered behavior.  A chivalrous man might even be thought of as being charming, polished, and dashing. The Chivalrous Man In Action If walking down the sidewalk with a woman after it has rained, the chivalrous man will walk on the outside, along the street, so if water splashes from a passing vehicle, it will splash on him and not on her.  If there is a water puddle in front of her on the sidewalk, he might remove his jacket and cover ...

Marital Advice **** Sharing - It's Not Like In Kindergarten **** This is a simple story from Marital Advice to my Grandson, Joel  that many people have told me is one of their favorites.  I hope you enjoy it and find some truth in it. You learned as a child that it is good, proper, and nice to share with others.  This concept carries over to marriage, but it works a little differently than it did in kindergarten. Let's say, for example, that you like to occasionally eat a banana.  You realize that your wife is not as fond of bananas as you are and that she rarely eats them.  You stop at a convenience store on your way home from work and they have some great-looking bananas.  You decide to buy two of them - one for today and the other one for tomorrow. You get home and place your bananas on the kitchen counter.  After dinner, you decide to have one of your bananas for a snack.  Your wife asks, "Can I have the other banana?"...

MARITAL ADVICE ***** Your Worst Body Part ***** Think, for a moment, about all of the human body parts.  Each of them has the potential to cause a man a lot of trouble and grief, but there is one body part that stands head and shoulders above the rest. When God created man, he gave him two ears and one mouth for a reason - that he should listen twice as much as he talks.  We have it on good authority that He was specifically thinking of married men when He did this.  "Your mouth will get you into  a whole lot more trouble than your Willy ever will." Copyright  ©  2018 By Peter Davidson

MARITAL ADVICE It's Not Criticism - It's Training The basic premise of the book, Marital Advice to my Grandson, Joel, (stated with a little tongue-in-cheek) is:  "When your wife chose to marry you, she apparently saw in you hidden potential that no other woman in the world was able to spot, including her mother, her sisters, and her friends.  For the rest of her life, your wife will try on a daily basis to coax, mold, and beat that hidden potential into some semblance of the admirable man she visualizes you have the ability to become."   Some of that "training" is illustrated in the following quotes from the book: "Buy me flowers, candy, clothing, jewelry, perfume, a book, a card, or nothing at all . . . but do not ever buy me an implement of work* as a gift." *Vacuum cleaner, washing machine, lawn mower, chain saw . . .  get it? When your wife says, "Dear will you help me . . . ." she doesn't mean next month, ...